Script of video by BIG Think featuring an interview with Tal Ben-Shahar.

This is not a sponsored post for Saturate Life.

Become Antifragile

There are only two kinds of people who do not experience painful emotions the first time are the Psychopaths the second kind are dead. There is a false understanding or expectation that a happy life means being happy all the time. No. Learning to accept and even embrace painfully emotions is an important part of the happy life and the study of painful emotions is an important part of the field of Happiness Studies.

My name is Tal Ben-Shahar I’m a student and teacher in the field of Happiness studies and my most recent book is Happier No Matter What: : Cultivating Hope, Resilience, and Purpose in Hard Times there is a very important concept that was introduced by Nasim Taleb and that is “Antifragility” is essentially “Resilience 2.0”. 

Resilience 1.0 → Resilience 2.0

Resilience 1.0 is when we put pressure on a system after the pressure is lifted that system goes back to its original form. Antifragility takes this idea a step further. You put pressure on the system it actually grows bigger stronger. We see antifragile systems all around us. For example: the muscular system. We go to the gym and we lift weights we’re putting pressure on our muscles. What happens as a result? We actually grow stronger. We’re in anti-fragile system. On the psychological level you know what that’s called? PTG. Post-Traumatic Growth. So post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is about breaking down. Post Traumatic Growth is about growing stronger as a result of pressure stress. It’s antifragility. The role of the science of happiness is to teach us what conditions we can put in place to increase the likelihood of growing from hardship. 

Happiness Paradox

Now there is a paradox when it comes to pursuing happiness. On the one hand we know that happiness is a good thing whether in and of itself or is the means toward other ends. At the same time we also know from research by Iris Moss and others that people who say to themselves “I want to pursue it.” Those individuals actually end up being less happy in fact they more likely experience depression. So the paradox is that on the one hand, happiness is clearly a good thing. On the other hand valuing it as a good thing is problematic.

So what do we do? The way to resolve this paradox is that we pursue happiness indirectly. Think about sunlight. So if I look at the sun directly it’s going to hurt my eyes however if I break down sunlight into its elements, into its constituents I can look at the colors of the rainbow. So I’m indirectly looking at the sunlight enjoying it, savoring it. In the same way, pursuing happiness directly can cause more harm than good. But breaking it down into its elements can lead us to enjoy the indirect pursuit of happiness and by extension to raise our overall levels of happiness.

SPIRE Happiness

What are the metaphorical colors of the rainbow when it comes to happiness here we have what I’ve come to call the SPIRE Model and it can trigger the anti-fragile system. SPIRE is an acronym that stands for Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational, and finally Emotional well-being. 

Spirituality is about finding a sense of meaning and purpose and meaning in life, at work, and at home. If you wake up in the morning with a purpose, you are more likely to overcome barriers. 

When it comes to Physical well-being the most important idea to look at is stress. The silent killer. In the United States, more than half of the employees do not use up their vacation time. Even those that do close to half are still tethered to their work. The problem is not the stress. It’s the lack of recovery.

With Intellectual well-being there’s research showing that people who are curious, who ask questions, are not just happier, they also live longer. Another important element is not just asking questions, it’s deeply engaging with material. It can be text, a work of art, even nature.

Relational well-being is very important the number one predictor of happiness is quality time we spend with people we care about and who care about us. It turns out the number one condition that we can put in place to increase the likelihood of anti-fragility of growing through hardship is the quality of our relationships.

Finally Emotional well-being. So embracing painful emotions is critical but how do we then cultivate pleasurable ones. Specifically the emotion of Gratitude. (Roman Philosopher) Cicero talked about gratitude is the mother of all virtues. When we appreciate the good in our life we have more of it. So happiness is much more than pleasure. Happiness is whole being. These five elements together creates that sunlight; Happiness.

I don’t think there is a point before which one is unhappy after which one is happy. Rather happiness resides on a continuum. It’s a lifelong journey and knowing that we can have realistic rather than unrealistic expectations about what is possible. I do not think that things necessarily happen for the best however we can learn to make the best of things that happen.

Courtesy of: 

BIG Think, Tal Ben-Shahar, APM Music, Artgrid, FILMPAC, Getty Images/ Bettmann/ Corbis Historical, Storyblocks, Soundly.