Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) Survivor – Introduction

I am lucky. Less than a year ago I was in an accident. I broke bones, have hearing loss, and sustained a severe Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). Obviously, that’s not the lucky part. The lucky part is my physical healing from severe TBI. My physical and mental health is recovering well. Mental Health Matters. I am still struggling. I am a Traumatic Brain Injury Survivor. In the end, recovering from Traumatic Brain Injury is not an easy feat no matter where doctors set you at. Mental health is vitally important. This is my story.

Hello. My name is Rachel.

I have turned a new section of chapters in my life. New sections and chapters come in different ways. Graduation, marriage, new career, welcoming a child. There are many happy ones. There are also bitter ones. Loss of a loved one, ending of a relationship, and permanent injury. This is the story of a bitter one. Ultimately though it is exactly that. A chapter. In the novel of life. There are chapters of time before and there will be a time after.

Craft a Life you Love - Saturate Life — Remember this blog post?

I want to remind you, the reader, of the chapters in the novel of life. You found this because traumatic brain injury in some manner has lead to you to this post. Whether you are the survivor or this is an event to a loved one, this is a chapter in your life. There is a turn of the page. It is adaptable. Hold tight to your loved ones and keep in mind that the novel will move forward.

Section 1: Pre Accident – Summary

I spent 31 years without Traumatic Brain Injury. I grew up in Nowheresville, Ohio, USA. Mom, dad, brother, sister, best friends I still hold dearly from there. Graduated from tiny high school, went to huge college, graduated college. Worked. Moved states. I met the love of my life, Fitzi Fitzaey. Dated then married the 7th year of our relationship in February 2022. I manifested dreams and goals that changed more times than I can count. It sounds perfect. Despite the picturesque appearances a lot of the perfection was a mask.

Happy Goofy Goobers - Saturate Life — Marriage Day between Fitzaey and I.

I mentally resided in a fortress to protect myself. Depression and anxiety that resulted from a number of things resided with me in that fortress. Relationships, events, even the college degree I graduated with and did not graduate with. No one wanted to see that. I knew I should be nicer to myself. To be nicer to myself I practiced a lot… on others. An empathetic nature developed to the point I was more likely to put myself through pain to help some one else in any way. I would literally hide or drink copious amounts of alcohol to sob, wipe away the tears, and continue to hurt myself to help further jobs and others. It took an unexpected turn in the next section.

Section 2: Accident + Hospitalization – Summary

October 14th 2022

I had an evening with two wonderful angels. We are cyclists living in perpetual summer in Florida. October is the start of dry season. Cooler weather, no rain. Best time of year. These angels and I biked to a music event in Downtown St. Petersburg. Ate, danced, enjoyed each other’s company. We biked home. I offered to ride alone so they could continue to enjoy the evening but they refused. I must go home safe.

These angels saved me. On the bike trail there are some bridges over major roads. The downhill of one of these hills was the site of my accident. This is when my memory ends for about two weeks. They hailed emergency services and my husband. I was saved.

ER Traumatic Brain Injury Survivor Saturate Life — Yes, this is really me. Not to be replicated use on other websites.

I was hospitalized. Intubated. CT, MRI, All of the testing. I was taken care of by the hardworking sweet staff. Nursing is a job not for the weak hearted. They care immensely. They need to. According to the American Brain Foundation 1.7 million people experience a TBI each year. The amount of care I took on brought my traumatic brain injury to the highest category, severe. (What made it severe? Check out the criteria used here.) The nursing and hospital staff are also all angels for the care they are trained for.

My parents, in Nowheresville, Ohio, made the trip down to Florida to assist my husband and home. It was abrupt and well orchestrated. They took care of their newest son like he needed. Half of his heart was in the hospital.

I awoke. It was uncertain how I would recover. Again, these are things I was told, I do not recall. I needed supervision. I couldn’t swallow safely and kept choking. There was a return to childlike behaviors. I spoke. Syllables made sense. Words did not. Memories were sparse. I fell in love with Harry Potter films… again. I made strange connections and recognized people. The love of my life, Fitzi. Mommy, daddy… Are we in Ohio? Mommy and daddy are Ohio not Florida. Is your name Cristi? My Cristi! Where are my kitties?

Hospital Selfie of Traumatic Brain Injury Survivor- Saturate Life — I don’t remember taking this. But here’s a selfie.

The mental walls that were built to protect me from others have been torn down. From this experience it became evident that my core is the empath. I care immensely for others. There were compliments given to others without a filter. So much trust in everyone. I rejected what I did not desire with a high level of respect and politeness “No thank you, please don’t draw blood.” (They did anyway). My obsessive nature went to the extreme. The windows are dirty. They must be cleaned.

I was recovering okay. At some point I do remember what occurred. Still childlike. Playful. Fatigued. I moved from ICU to the in-hospital rehabilitation facility. I walked moved and functioned well. Nouns were harder. I could tell you how to prepare to eat or cook… something. Draw it to convey what I’m recollecting. The actual name of the vegetable was just not there. Once revealed I had no further issues with the name of it. The names of everything once conveyed stayed permanently.

Hospital visit of Traumatic Brain Injury Survivor- Saturate Life — Through sickness and in health was tested in this marriage before 1 year.

Released from the hospital to go home. Released too early. Less than 24 hours and back in. More testing. More days under hospital care. Still recovering. Still exhausted. Released again. Permanently.

Section 3: Post Trauma Life – Summary

This is the current section of my life. I’m still in recovery. Doctors have commended it. I am recovering remarkably well. It’s to the point I have stopped telling strangers I am a literal TBI survivor for fear of being accused of lying. I’m glad I don’t have memories of the accident and about 2 weeks after. Despite the lack of memories I still know I went through Traumatic Brain Injury. It became a mantra to reiterate to people when discussing the accident “Wear a helmet.” Even you dear reader. Enjoy life… safely. Wear a helmet.

I had unrealistic expectations for how quickly TBI recovery would occur. Despite how good I look now, initially physical labor would exhaust me incredibly fast. I had depression and anxiety pre-accident but post accident they went to unspeakable heights. Life’s big problems are bigger yet the proximity I was to death makes them seem smaller at the same time. It’s overwhelming. Self-harm ideation plagues me and I take measures to curb it. I abstained from alcohol per doctor recommendations. The trauma I underwent during school grips tighter to me. People sometimes literally scare me by approaching me.

Saturate Life Creator + Traumatic Brain Injury Survivor — One thing I did during a depressive phase was promise myself a bouquet. Instead I planted roses and get excited for new blooms.

I have hope for my future. I’m taking the steps to create the best future for my current state. I am lucky. I am fortunate to be recovering as well as I am. Truly. Some who have gone through Traumatic Brain Injury have greater concerns. They do not create memories, have huge personality changes, physical struggles, and more I cannot conceive. I do not have those ailments. I give thanks to be able to recover better than expected. The recovery is not over though.

Outro

My plan is to continue the process discussing these sections of my life on this blog. I started this blog because I love to saturate my life with a lot of things, having it flourish with colors. I was not expecting such a dark color saturation.

For those experiencing loved ones in the hospital with TBI I will bring more elaborative discussion on what occurred at the hospital. What questions to bring to professionals. How in general to approach.

For others I will share my post-hospital peaks and pitfalls and all the curves in between. Resources and actions to take in regards to handling or assisting to handle with Traumatic Brain Injury recovery.

I struggle with mental health a lot and plan to dedicate to methods on rejuvenating it, for myself and to others interested. I am not a mental health professional. It’s now my passion for obvious reasons. I will share my mental exercises, what works, and what doesn’t work.

Thank you for your love, care, and time.

Be safe, wear a helmet.

– Rachel

Founder, creator, TBI Survivor, and designer of: